Out of Vulnerabilities Come Strength
Anyone that knows me, knows that when I am stressed or upset, I go into "Toni mode". We all have our own defense mechanisms and ways of coping; these are learned behaviors that have been with most of us our entire lives. Some people freak out, clam up, take it out on other people, take it out on the weights, and even take it out on a gallon of ice cream. You have been doing it for so long, its like second nature. For me, I totally isolate. I just don't feel like talking; I like to focus on me and my work and thats it. Now this has its ups and downs. I don't let stress or bumps in the road affect my training, lifestyle, or work, yet it gets pretty lonely when you try to deal with things all on your own. There is a reason we were all born with communicative abilities. We can communicate through words, gestures, or even writing, but any way you do it, we are ABLE to communicate for a reason. I don't believe in New Years Resolutions, because I believe in changing or improving your life for the better. One of my resolutions was to allow myself to be human and ask for help. They say that as you get older, your true friends can be counted on one hand. I am not sure if this is true, espeically because I have had some of my friends since 4 or 5 years old and trust them completely. I do believe you have to protet yourself as much as possible but this goes back to balance. How do you know when you should be vulnerable and let people in and totally block them out? This is ALSO a learned behavior; everyone is different. Only YOU know that balance that makes you feel comfortable and functional. Its okay to ask for help and be honest with people. If someone truly cares about you, they will love your imperfections along with the rest of you! I personally believe that your imperfections are what make you unique, because if we were all what society views as "perfect" (i HATE this term) then we would be total Stepford wives. If your coping mechanism works for you, then thats awesome,
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